Friday, September 28, 2007

Don't Like Bush? I Don't Care.

"There comes a time in every man's life when he must affirm his allegiance to his country, and to stop bitching about things he cannot change, or suck an enormous jungle cock." - Thomas Jefferson

Alright maybe Thomas Jefferson didn't say that, but then again maybe he did... were you there?? yeah thought so. Listen up people, like him or hate him he's going to be in office for another year. I personally don't hate the man. I don't love him either. I like alot of his policies, especially the ones where we get to pump hot lead into Qu'ran-sucking jihadist muslim scum-fucks. I also dislike alot of his policies. As you're reading this, I bet you're saying to yourself... "I don't care". Good, now you know how I feel.

Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that said something to the effect of, "only one more year"... after pulling over to the side of the road and collecting myself after about thirty seconds of epileptic rage which made me lose my breath and see the face of Satan himself, I relaxed. What the living son of a fuck point is this guy trying to make? "Boy I really dislike our current president, but I only have to deal with him for another year... I shall purchase a bumper sticker to inform everyone driving behind me that I am unhappy with our current leadership, then I shall shove my own head up my anus"... because anyone who thinks they are so important that their personal political views must be known by all, needs to be shot in the head with a large, sharp, dil-doh shaped arrow, preferably on fire. Bumper stickers predicting the inevitable... we are all going to hell slowly. I am going to get a sticker made up saying, "Dec. 25 Is Christmas". It's just as ridiculous.

If Hitler had killed ego-maniacal cocksuckers instead of well... everyone that wasn't him, I bet there would be statues of him all over the globe. My point is this... shut up. No one cares about how you feel about the president, and I would put a thousand dollars down on a bet that if you randomly asked affirmed Bush haters why they hated the man they would probably say... "because of the war". Follow that question with what don't you like about the war? they'd probably say, "ummm cuz war is bad". No shit. Go suck some patchouli hippie... this isn't the 60's and you can't change the world, and your pissy bumper stickers, t-shirts and protests aren't going to make this year go by any faster.

I think the problem is that kids today are told that they are special and unique and their opinions are important. Let me finish this by telling you the cold, hard awful awful truth...

YOU SUCK AND NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU WHINE

God Bless America

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

John hates you too, fuckstick.

Welcome John.

Possibly the only person on the planet more filled with hate than I am.

Be afraid.

Be very, very afraid.

An Observation In Prose, A Sight for Sore Eyes.

I have said this before, and actually written about the feeling I am going to convey to you, dear reader, so here it goes. Blind people just piss me off. Maybe it"s because they're so driven, or maybe it's because I saw "Road House" recently, and I fucking hate Jeff Healey, but the feeling remains the same, and I'll tell you why.

Blind people are the most selfish bastards on the planet. I'm sorry that you can't see, that must suck, but shut up about it, you're not dead, dying, or in the process of trying to die. You got dealt a shitty hand, but so did a lot of other people. Why is sight the most important sense? I know personally, that if I couldn't listen to the sound of babies crying, or the sound of grown men crying, I would probably off myself with the nearest sharp object.

"How could he say that?", you ask yourself...trust me, it's easy and you probably feel the same way about some group of unfortunate slobs, but you are too much of a pansy to say anything about it. We put a man on the moon, we split the atom, we made a longer lasting light bulb...yet still, we slaughter each other by the dumpster load for the most ridiculous reasons. Don't fool yourself. It's survival of the fittest. It is natural to look down on someone for being, well...disadvantaged, but that's not a license to give ol' blind willy a flat tire and a slap to the cock. Don't spend thousands on therapy because of your guilt for calling the retarded kid from the third grade "Mongo".

That being said... shut up, blind people. Until you start donating money, and time, and effort to people without other senses...I don't want to see you, your thick Ray-Bans, or your smelly-ass seeing eye dogs anywhere. (HAHAHA!! That's right, I said "see you".)