Hatredy Sports: A Single, A Double, and a Walk-off Mustache

Okay, so this blog is as worthless as Phil's HULU suckfest, but come on, look at that. It's Jason Giambi's moving tribute to Don Mattingly circa his "Hitman" era playing days. I for one love it. Clean-cut Yankees manager Joe Girardi has viewed all the scouting reports and believes the Yankees owe their recent success to the power of the mustache. Johnny Damon and others are following. As for Giambi, he's breaking slumps and the hearts of single 40-something women everywhere. No mortal man can be certain as to when the first whiskers sprouted on Giambi’s upper lip but since May 15th Giambi has a .388 batting average with 5 dingers and 11 RBIs. Oh, not to mention he has upped his batting average 77 points from .181 to a much more respectable .258. How cool are Burt Renyolds and Tom Selleck now? Now the Yanks have a bit of a winning streak, so come along for the mustache ride, drink a brew or 10 and enjoy the summer.

P.S. I realized the ladies may like a fella with a clean-cut look. Well sorry, ladies if you want a clean stache, it's going to look a lot like this....

So do you want to know why you can never have this guy, ladies? Because he is strong, sensitive, and has a boyfriend. And yes, he is the best Met of the past 15 years. Kind of sad really. My third blog on mustaches, but don't worry I don't play on Piazza's team.

Mets Fans... A Gathering of Ignorance

I do not hide my deep love for the New York Yankees, my hate for the Boston Red Sox and for the city of Boston itself, but recently there has been a new little flicker of hatred growing inside me... and its for Mets Fans. Not the Mets themselves so much, because I mean lets face it... what is a Met? A Met is a baseball player, who although plays for a major league team in NYC, is still a second class athlete in the eyes of the majority. I feel kinda bad for Mets, its like being the middle child, or the ugly dog at the pound.. you walk by and say ... "awww poor guy", and then immediately move on. The fans however... alright lets get started...

The Met fan is the guy who decides to root for a team because "everyone else likes the Yankees." Which brings me to my first point... Met's fans have this belief that its "easy to be a Yankee fan." Are you fucking kidding me? The Yanks are the most hated team on the planet. Every time they play the other team plays a little harder because they're playing the big bad Yankees. The Yankees have a solid history of winning and domination, their fans are loyal, and everyone hates us. Major League... they played the hated Yankees, that stupid movie with Kevin Costner where he pitches for Detroit.. they played the hated Yankees, and as I remember there is a scene in the movie where a Yankee fan sitting at a bar is made to look like a complete bozo and the bartender whispers something like, "damn Yankee fans" or something. People hate us so much they lambaste us in the movies. Have you ever seen a movie, TV show, or fuckin comic book where the apex of the action is the big game versus The Mets? No you haven't.

If anything its easy as pie to be a Met fan. No one gives a shit about the Mets, they try to hate us and bait us into some new Red Sox - like rivalry but sorry Mr. Met... we got our rivalry. The Mets have never been good... aside from 1969 and 1986, there is no expectation for them to do well from year to year and that fact alone makes it easy to be a Met fan. Oh the Mets didn't go anywhere this season?... that sounds bout right.

Another thing that Mets fans try to parade around as a reason to hate the Yankees; is the payroll Issue. Lets get this straight.... the highest payroll..... doesn't mean shit. The Yanks haven't won in 7 years Douchenuggets. Last year the Yank's payroll was $189,639,045. The Mets $115, 231,663. The difference of about 73 million bucks doesn't mean a fucking thing in pro sports. And the Mets have the money by the way... they're building a new stadium... they just don't spend it. Load of horse shit.

Finally, the Met fan is a truly pathetic animal, desperately searching for a rivalry. I mean what kind of a team can you have when you don't even have a good rivalry? The Braves? the Phillies... wow cant wait to tune in to those grind out grudge-matches. The colors suck, blue and orange... just screams baseball to me. The stadium... oh God ... Id rather watch a baseball game in Fallujah. They have a mascot... Mr. Met. What the fuck man? That's bush-league shit... sorry Philly, but you know its true. Its a sad state of affairs in Queens, and I for one am happy to hear it.

NYY WS CHAMPIONSHIPS - 1923, 1927, 1928,1932, 1936, 1937, 1938, 1939, 1941, 1943, 1947, 1949, 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1956, 1958, 1961, 1962, 1977, 1978, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000.

NY METS WS CHAMPIONSHIPS - 1969, 1986.

What a rivalry!